When our oldest daughter Violet was born, that’s when we found out she was a girl. What a lovely surprise! I was secretly hoping for a girl. Mostly because that’s what I know. With our second, we decided to find out early. And when we found out we were having another little girl, we were delighted!
When the walls came crashing down, all we could think about was Violet. All of our dreams of Violet and Lucy chasing each other in the back yard, stealing each other’s clothes, telling each other secrets, shattered.
And it’s not just the sister stuff from childhood that I worried Violet would miss out on. But the adult relationship that sisters share.
Things like exploring the world and yourself through travel. Sharing big accomplishments like graduations, forging careers as women, finding love, getting married, having children. Then of course, there are the hardships in life. My sister and I have been fortunate enough to share those things with each other and support one other.
Violet doesn’t know that all of those things could have been for her and Lucy. She will know what we tell her and show her about her sister.
She will know she was an amazing big sister. That on school days she would run in the house and go straight to Lucy and tell her all about her day. That when Lucy needed a clean diaper, V was right there, ready to help. That she used to sing to her in the cutest little voice “Lucy Lucy Lou”. And that Lucy loved all of this attention, love, and tenderness from her big sis.
It’s heartbreaking. But I have found a silver lining. And that extremely bright silver lining is my sister friends. My ride or die bitches, if you will.
I have a few groups of girlfriends, one dating back to grade school-high school that are so close, they are like sisters. I didn’t think I would find friends like these in college and adulthood, but I have. Friends that I met when I moved to the city, that were also creating their identities as teachers. I quickly learned that they were just as fun, trustworthy, and determined as the girlfriends I had from back home. And I am so grateful for all of these women!
These are women that can be trusted. And know how to laugh. And have respect, integrity, and grit. And know so much about me that I can’t de-friend them.
Even back in high school, there was no drama. I think that ‘s why we all got on so well. None of us really cared for drama. We were too busy setting our goals, doing what we had to do, and having a hell of a lot of fun along the way.
As the years have gone by we have kept in touch. Some of us might not see each other or speak for months, but that doesn’t matter. We simply pick up where we left off, with ease.
And so one day, this hit me. While Violet and Lucy won’t get to grow up together as sisters, I certainly hope that Violet learns to cultivate friendships that still allow her to love like they are sisters.
And now I have Lucy to thank for bringing my sister and I closer together. Not just in terms of our relationship, but also geographically. When Lucy was sick, our condo sold, and given the circumstances and a little twist of fate, we moved down the street from my sister.
My sis has always been by my side, especially for the last year and half. And now that I live down the street from her, we can be there for each other every day.
Thank you Lucy.
My name is Lou and I am a mom of two girls living outside of Chicago. I never would have imagined this, but our oldest daughter is at home and our youngest is not. She will be in our hearts forever. Lucy was an amazing soul and we continue to learn lessons from her today.